Shadow Exploring consciousness becomes a very important part of my day, but never an obsession. I will try to understand messages behind every possible contact from which consciousness speaks. My paintings will give me wonderful insight into my inner state, and Jungian interpretation will act like a translator in this process. Sometimes chaotic painting will emerge, and sometimes clean and precise — it will be easy to distinguish style, but the way in which painting speaks will change, and this changing will happen in intervals. There will be a lot of paintings in one speaking voice, then it will become another, stay consistent for one period, then come back to the old one. This particular one was chaotic. Snake Hiding Behind Purple Shadow I would like just to mention one small thing in this painting: the line in the middle, which goes till the circle (circle which in Jungian terms means self), is colored with green but in a way which resembles snake skin (can be interpreted like shado...
Lucid=Safe
When I was a kid, I remember moments of needing to not be there, to vanish, to disappear in some way. This was in the period of my ten or twelve years. I would like to disappear for a moment. This could be the result of family problems, staying in bad situations, and wishing to disappear, with the background filled with the arguing words of my parents. When I would fall asleep, I would dream of a big monster close to the house, which I well knew not a monster the house. This monster would come, and I would get scared and wake up, then fall asleep, and the same thing would happen until I told myself, 'Now I go to sleep, I will dream of him again and destroy him,' and it happened. After this situation, I would never or very, very rarely, at least I don't remember have scary dreams, and my dreams became lucid. Now, with lucid dreams, I found my safe spot, and dreaming became my escape from reality. I would start dreaming one dream, then teleport myself into another yes, like I say, teleport. I would just start dreaming another dream, which would be shaped in ways I wanted. Sometimes it would be hard to continue dreaming in this state, and sometimes it would be hard to wake up. I would feel I couldn't open my eyes. In my dreams, I would fly or do any crazy idea I had. All this dreaming would stop in my adolescent years because I would use let’s say it like this my dreaming ability to transform my dreaming into pure sexual scenes, and this destroyed my lucid dreaming. Now I cannot remember, but when I think about this type of dreaming, I feel such a blissful emotion, which would occur in this state, a hot feeling close to my heart is the only way I can explain it. This non-existence state, which in my opinion is the best optimistic view one can take as an atheist, is the best thing that can happen to someone with atheistic views, and the best start for someone who is religious.Is speculative, but this state is the state we were feeling in the womb and which we will feel at the end.
When I cannot scream and the serpent is looking at me, I just teleport myself away.
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